A Personal Experience of Shame… and Hope

I felt shame last week. The township sanitation worker slapped me with a written warning. It was bright orange and plastered on my garbage can for everyone to see. Apparently, he found unauthorized material in that garbage can—namely, errrr….. a bunch of concrete. I wish I could say that I wasn’t aware that heavy items […]

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Shame

Anne Dryburgh

Anne Dryburgh

“You were a mistake.” “You are good for nothing.” “You are one big disappointment.” These unkind, hurtful comments are spoken so that the person receiving them feels a sense of shame. The experience of shame comes as a result of thinking that one is a failure. In other words, the message is conveyed that there is something inherently wrong with the person and that he or she will never be able to meet the standards that others expect. This means that the person is, by nature, inadequate. Continue reading

Responding to the Shame after a Relapse into Sin

Jeff Forrey

Jeff Forrey

Jim’s wife of eight years, Rachael, was shocked to discover he’d been regularly viewing Internet porn for about two months. In all their years together, he had seemed like an upright Christian man with strong morals. After Jim had started meeting with their pastor, Paul, he’d stopped viewing Internet porn. So, Rachael and Pastor Paul were surprised and dismayed all over again when they learned Jim had gone to an adult bookstore to purchase pornographic material in print, instead!

Suppose, however, that Jim reports incredible shame over his behavior at this point. Continue reading