Disagreements in the Church are nothing new. Scripture records necessary confrontations over heresy or violations of biblical commands. It also describes instances in which believers disagreed over secondary matters, wisdom issues, and questions of Christian liberty. These issues are worth discussing; however, such discussions can tempt those with opposing views to attack and vilify their opponents and claim moral or spiritual superiority. Paul warns against this when he cautions believers to avoid “biting and devouring one another” (Gal. 5:15). Sadly, in a fallen world, people who share a genuine bond in Christ, commitment to Scripture, and Kingdom goals can easily abandon love and unity when differences of opinion arise.
This often happens when we elevate secondary matters or Christian liberty issues to primary importance. Believers should wrestle with Scripture and live out their faith convictionally in good conscience before God and man. However, where God’s Word allows freedom or the use of wisdom in applying biblical principles to complex situations, we must maintain a humble posture and remember that the people with whom we disagree are not adversaries to be defeated, but brothers and sisters in Christ.
Scripture does more than warn us against abusing freedom or idolizing rules when we disagree; it reveals that God desires us to dwell together in loving unity as a testimony of genuine discipleship.
Jesus’ Prayer for His Disciples
John 13-17 provides a firsthand account of the night before Jesus’s crucifixion. It includes Jesus’ prayer for His followers, which reveals what Jesus desires most for His people. He asks the Father that all those who come to know Him would “be one,” just as He and the Father are one; that is, He desires that we share intimate unity with each other, the sort Jesus shares with the Father. He notes that such unity would be a powerful testimony to the world (John 17:20-23). This echoes Jesus’ exhortation to the disciples earlier that evening: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Jesus does not only desire a close relationship between Himself and individual believers; He wants all His followers to have loving unity with one another, so much so that their mutual love would mark their faith as genuine!
Many of us have experienced the beauty of unlikely fellowship with other believers—deep and caring friendships with people so unlike us that we never would have chosen them apart from being united to them in the body of Christ. For many, the unique spiritual bond with other believers feels more natural and beneficial than even our best earthly relationships that do not share Christ in common. Perhaps you’ve forged an unlikely bond with that one believing coworker in a difficult work environment or spent time in a foreign locale where the only familiar comfort was found with an equally foreign church body that nevertheless welcomed you as family. Unity in Christ is indeed miraculous, but possible and sweet. That Jesus specifically asked the Father to work that unity amongst us implies that we will struggle with it often enough, especially in the face of conflict and disagreement. The question, then, is not whether we will ever disagree with one another, but how we will live together in Christ-exalting love and unity when we do.
Taking Jesus’ Desire for Unity Seriously in Disagreement
I knew a pastor who lived out one possible answer to this question when a group of people left his church over a preference issue. There was no orthodoxy at stake, but tensions were high. Relationships were strained; the departure was painful and, in many respects, deeply personal. For those who remained, it was easy to wish those departing “good riddance” and to harbor a measure of hurt and self-righteousness. Yet the pastor could not escape Jesus’ desire for His people to live in loving unity. While the pastor no longer fellowshipped with these people in a local church, he sought opportunities to love them in word and deed, where appropriate, in their shared community.
Many were confused by his actions. He pointed them specifically to John 17 and explained that he would spend eternity with these brothers and sisters; just because they disagreed with him did not mean they were no longer believers. He did not want to stand before his Lord without having sought to love them well, despite their differing opinions. That kind of love is hard, especially if not reciprocated. This pastor, however, exemplified another of Jesus’ sayings from the eve of His crucifixion: that those who love Him should obey His commands (John 14:15). Loving fellow believers is not contingent upon agreeing with them on every wisdom issue. In Christ, we find a call that transcends differences of opinion and recognizes first and foremost our common bond in Him.
An Attempt at Living This Way
Though I often fall short of this pastor’s example, I am burdened to grow in love and to reflect his resolve for Christian unity in my actions. As a professor at a university, I desire my students to emulate this approach as well. Those who attend my courses generally share a common bond in Christ and want to please Him. Yet they come from diverse backgrounds and perspectives and are pursuing various majors with differing goals. They often disagree significantly over secondary convictions, matters of wisdom, and preferences. Some of these disagreements are substantial, and I do not minimize them. I train my students to think carefully, reason biblically, and develop positions rooted in sound theology, but there is still room for differing opinions.
For example, in my Biblical Care and Counseling course, I want students to think deeply about forming an approach to biblical counseling that is grounded first and foremost in Scripture. I find the Biblical Counseling Coalition Confessional Statement a helpful resource to help them think through what they actually believe about biblical counseling and what is most important. However, I know they will not all land in the same place on secondary issues of practice. As such, I frequently remind them that their fellow classmates are brothers and sisters in Christ before they are opponents in a debate. Before they discuss their differences, they should seek to understand where they agree, such as in their view of salvation and their commitment to God’s Word. They must learn to define one another by their common union with Christ, not by their secondary disagreements.
This is Jesus’ desire for them from John 17; indeed, it is His desire for us all—to dwell in unity and love for one another in such a way that even those who do not know Christ would nevertheless know that we—who disagree with each other over significant things but love each other just the same—are in fact His true disciples. So let us show our love for Christ by obeying His command to love one another and to sharpen one another through fruitful dialogue, rather than cutting one another down in scathing debates. Let’s show the world who we belong to by how we maintain our belonging with one another.
Questions for Reflection
- When disagreement arises, what most tempts you to forget that the other person is a brother or sister in Christ?
- How might Jesus’ prayer in John 17 shape the way you speak about those with whom you disagree?
- Where might you need to reconcile relationships with fellow Christians who love Christ yet differ over secondary or tertiary theological convictions, matters of wisdom, or Christian liberty?
