What should the gospel look like on our faces when we counsel? I’m not implying that good counselors should literally write the gospel on their faces; I am asking you to imagine how your facial expressions should be informed by the gospel when you counsel. Biblical counseling is more than truth dissemination—it’s an embodiment issue. How you visibly express your gospel-centered counseling with your face can make a difference to your ministry outcome.
The heart behind this post is to help counselors develop a fresh self-awareness of their counseling presence, specifically their ministry of the face.[1] And I want our desire for good counseling outcomes to be measured in part by how well we use our face in our conversations with hurting people. My interest in this topic stems from my own failures to embody the gospel in my facial expressions. If my face was a philosopher, it would be a stoic. I am prone to sending mixed signals in counseling conversations because what I say does not typically match my mellow facial demeanor. Thanks to a courageous friend who pointed out my facial incongruity, I have since begun to practice a more appropriate expressiveness in the counseling room. My hope is that this post will serve you in developing a more holistic manner in your counseling to the benefit of your counselees.
Let the Gospel Fix Your Face
A compassionate counselor will consider how their facial expressions communicate to their counselees. This does not mean we force facial expressions outside of our particular emotional range. On the one hand, we are given a range of emotional expressions unique to us. It would be disingenuous to act beyond that unique range. On the other hand, our expression of care is inseparably connected to the sanctified use of our unique facial mannerisms. The gospel’s impression on our soul should inform our range of emotional expression natural to our God-given personality. Over time, the gospel in us will become more authentically expressed through us as we practice intentional conversations.
The Testimony of Your Face
“Let the redeemed of the LORD say so”—expressively! (Ps. 107:2). Not only should redeemed people reflect the goodness of the gospel in our appearance, but our faces must also play a role in our testimony of God’s Word in their various expressions. Counselor, your countenance, when genuinely expressed, is a persuasive testimony. When the Psalmist says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble,” it’s safe to assume that the Psalmist expects our “say-so” to be markedly expressive and appropriate to the salvation we have in God (Ps. 107:2). We cannot afford to be counselors of God’s Word to the exclusion of displaying genuine facial expressions tuned to truth.
Suppose you were seeing a biblical counselor who spoke of the hope of change available to you in Christ, but who showed a lack of excitement and joy in the gospel. In that case, you may be right to question the counselor’s commitment to you and their believability. That’s because our faces are tools of persuasion in gospel ministry. Your face is a testimony meant to expressively employ your convictions about God’s truths. Counselors reflect Christ’s care with their facial features when their expressions are appropriate to the truths and sensitive to the contexts they are counseling within (Rom. 12:15).
You Embody Christ’s Care
Your face is a stewardship issue. Do your facial expressions support your counsel or work against it? Your counseling ministry isn’t merely a depository of truth; it’s also a derivative expression of God’s care. When you speak from the Bible, you not only share God’s revealed wisdom from your lips, but you also convey something about Jesus’ love on your face. However imperfectly you end each counseling session, make it a goal that your counselee leaves having encountered God’s love through His Word and on your face. Because the gospel is God’s sure promise of rescue and change for undeserving sinners, should this reality not break out on our faces?
Stewarding your face well must begin with your relationship to Christ revealed in Scripture. The writer of Ecclesiastes observes the connection between wisdom and facial expression when he writes, “A man’s wisdom illuminates him and causes his stern face to beam” (Eccles. 8:1). The wisdom of the gospel should be felt and enjoyed personally before it’s given to others. A stoic demeanor does a disservice to your counselees, making God’s truth appear unpalatable.
Perhaps your facial expressiveness is incongruent with the hope present in God’s Word because you have sin in your life that needs forsaking. If so, be encouraged that you can run to Christ for abundant forgiveness. Like the Psalmist, our relationship with God and the sureness of our salvation is “[t]he help of my countenance” (Ps. 42:11, NKJV).[2] Experiencing God’s love and forgiveness afresh allows us to genuinely express the wisdom of God that has changed us with a demeanor appropriate to the realities of the gospel.
Smile, You’re Being Evaluated
Your counsel is always being filtered by how you express what you say. That doesn’t mean that counselees will always correctly interpret how you say what you say, but it does mean that the way we speak plays a role in how our gospel conversations are received by the counselee.
The counselor is always making intuitive assessments of their counselee—Does the counselee need more hope right now or a stronger corrective? Would camping out on the biblical teaching of sin be more beneficial or asking another question first? Is the counselee downplaying issue X? This is a good instinct to maintain. Keep in mind, however, you’re not the only one making evaluations in the counseling room.
Counselees are also making intuitive evaluations, and they have to do with you—Is this counselor believable? Why should I listen to them anyway? Do they really care about me? Counselees are making significant evaluations about your counsel based on how you convey what you say. Bypassing the ministry of the face in favor of ministry of the Word may come at the expense of both. For example, if you are giving counsel to someone who needs to forsake their sin for the sake of Christ and the joy of holy living, but you lack a cheerful demeanor, you’re pitting your biblical counsel against your somber facial expression. Counselor, leverage your counsel with appropriate expressiveness.
The scope of Christ’s grace is so far-reaching that the way we counsel the gospel is implicated in our counseling. Tuning our expressions to the particular person, situation, and truths being presented is a dynamic act of wise love. So, how should we offer biblical counsel when sitting face-to-face with hurting people? First, we must earn the counselee’s ear with our grace-induced facial expressions. Friends, as we tell counselees that God cares for them, we must show them we do too, and we can start by letting the gospel fix our face.
Questions for Reflection
- Do you know what you look like when you counsel or teach? Consider asking a Christian friend how well your face matches what you say.
- Because the gospel is true, how should its implications in your life affect the way you use your face in counseling?
- Have you ever considered how your facial expressions influence your testimony and ministry? Consider making a habit of practicing your teaching and counseling in the mirror and make facial adjustments as necessary.
[1] Dr. Joe Crider, Dean of the School of Church Music and Worship at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, uses this expression to instruct his students on how to lead their congregations in worship from the stage.
[2] Lou Priolo, “How to Improve Your Looks from the Inside-Out 1-2 (mp3),” Nouthetic Media, https://noutheticmedia.com/shop/lou-priolo/mp3-audio-lp/mp3-library/how-to-improve-your-looks-from-the-inside-out-1-2-mp3/.
