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Working Through Conflict Worksheet

October 13, 2011

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Instructions: With your spouse, choose either a problem that is unresolved or something that was recently revolved.  If you put things on a scale of 1 (superficial problem) to 10 (very, very sensitive), pick something between 5 and 7.   Be prepared to talk about the fight with the pastor or counselor, but work through the questions below before you come in. 

1.      What was the problem/conflict/fight?  

 

2.      What was each of you coveting, desiring, or hoping for?

 

3.      At what point did you get disappointed, annoyed, frustrated, or angry with your fiancé?   And, why did you get disappointed, annoyed, frustrated, or angry with your fiancé?  

 

4.      Did you really understand your fiancé’s perspective?  What assumptions were you making or imputing on the other person?  Ask him/her if he or she feels like you understood him/her?

  

5.      How does your understanding of the gospel change your perspective on this fight?

 

 6.      What are your typical rules of engagement in a fight?  If you don’t have any, what should they be?

 

7.      What sins do you need to own up to and confess to God and your fiancé?  (Take some time to do that now…)