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Questions for the Initial Session after Adultery is Confessed

October 13, 2011

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Instructions:  One of the strategies we like to employ is asking couples to answer a series of questions before the initial session.   That allows the counselor to do some data collection before the couple comes for the first meeting, and helps to prepare the counselor for what they might be facing.  We ask the couple to email their answers a day or two before the first session.

Questions for Husband

1.  Tell me what happened with adultery.  Details please. 

2.  What factors led to the adultery?  Obviously some things went wrong in your heart, marriage, etc. to lead you to go astray. 

3.  Aside from the adultery, what other problems do you see in the marriage right now?  Give me a problem list.  Don't just blame your wife; take ownership of your own sins first. 

4.  What does it look like to rebuild trust in the marriage?

5.  Is there any hope for the marriage?  If so, describe it. 

Please note:  I will NOT be giving this or showing this to your spouse, though at some point we might choose to discuss some of these things.  So please be brutally honest. 

Questions for the Wife

1.  Tell me what happened with adultery.   

2.  What factors led to the adultery?  Obviously some things went wrong in your husband's heart, in the marriage, etc. to lead him to go astray. 

3.  Aside from the adultery, what other problems do you see in the marriage right now?  Give me a problem list.  Don't just blame your husband; take ownership of your own sins first. 

4.  What does it look like to rebuild trust in the marriage?

5.  Is there any hope for the marriage?  If so, describe it. 

Please note:  I will NOT be giving this or showing this to your spouse, though at some point we might choose to discuss some of these things.  So please be brutally honest.