Instructions for the Counselor
This exercise is meant to help couples reflect on their communication and to give feedback on their strengths and weaknesses. The couple should fill out a copy of the worksheet separately, and then follow the instructions on the last two pages.
Note the husband fills out both the “Evaluate Yourself” and the “Evaluate Your Spouse” pages. The wife does the same thing.
The real useful of this exercise is that the person not only evaluates himself or herself, but then hears how his/her spouse would evaluate himself/herself on the same parameters. Example: Jim marks a “2” (hardly ever) for anger and his wife marks a “7” (frequently) for the same thing. As they talk through this exercise, the similarities and differences in what they marked will be instructive.
After the couple has filled out the worksheet and also worked through the instructions on the last page, sit down with them and talk with them about what they learned. (Be sure to do this only after they have completed the instructions on the last two pages!)