Gospel Balm For Control Freaks Like Me

September 15, 2011

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Laura Hendrickson

Gospel Balm For Control Freaks Like Me

Like Martha of Bethany, I awaken many mornings “anxious and troubled about many things” (Luke 10:41). I’ve learned that if I’m going to walk in faith, I must remember the “one thing (that) is necessary” (v. 42): sitting at the Lord’s feet, like Mary, and listening to His voice. I do this by reading Scripture first thing in the morning.

If I don’t, I find I’m so busy trying to make myself feel safe that I forget that Christ is my only safety (Proverbs 29:25), and apart from Him I’m absolutely powerless (John 15:5). My desire to be in control is futile, and any sense of control I have is just an illusion.

This morning Psalm 139:16 reminded me anew of this truth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
In your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

The Lord saw me, and was already taking care of me, when I was still just “unformed substance” in my mother’s womb. The phrase “unformed substance” makes me think of the very earliest stage of pregnancy when I was still little more than a ball of cells.

My mother didn’t know she was carrying me at that point, and even if she had, there was nothing she could do to care for me. But everywhere in Scripture when we’re told God sees something, He does something about what He sees (see for example Genesis 16:13). When this verse says He saw me, it’s telling me that He was caring for me even at that very earliest stage of my life.

It also tells me that God had a plan for my life right from the very start. Here I am, living as though it’s all up to me, reacting from fear and self-concern, trying to control it all, when the Lord tells me that He’s been on the job right from the beginning. If He was caring for me way back then, long before I knew or loved Him, how much more is He caring for me now that I belong to Him?

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How about you? Are you tempted to worry, even though you really want to trust Him? Could remembering the truth of His loving care help you to let go of that need for control? Casting all your anxieties upon him, because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).


4 thoughts on “Gospel Balm For Control Freaks Like Me

  1. Pingback: Flotsam and jetsam (9/15) « scientia et sapientia

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  4. Praise God for this truth!  Thank you, Laura, for sharing this — very timely for me with a fearful counselee, and for myself :)!!

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